South Florida Hospital News
Friday October 20, 2017
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December 2009 - Volume 6 - Issue 6

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Publisher’s Note: Martha Stewart Doesn’t Live Here Anymore!

And to tell the truth, she never did. For those of you who visit our home, you are greeted by the above sign. Some might look at it and think — joke? But to others (those who’ve had dinner here), it’s really more of a warning … a CDC alert! You see, I didn’t marry a Julia Child wannabe. Carol is more in the Easy-Bake Oven category. For some reason when she hits the kitchen, common sense and any intuitive cooking skills many women possess (a sexist generalization, I know) just desert (dessert?) her. Lest you think I’m exaggerating, ask anyone in our family about her infamous Manicotti debacle. I think she wiped out twelve people with the contents of one 10" x 13" dish.

But as Carol likes to point out, this is all ancient history — because Carol has learned the art of the bait and switch. Basically, she outsources the cooking but uses in-house serving dishes. She’s pretty good on appetizers and desserts – so if she caters in the main dish – the survival odds for all our guests improve exponentially.

A couple of weeks ago, I decided it was time I turned the tables on her. But the components of my inaugural "bait and switch" were a bit closer to my heart — my old laptop in a new computer bag. Do you get my drift? In addition, to my well-known electronics obsession, I also have a pretty crazy luggage fetish. (My sons Josh and Drew have been known to shop for briefcases and computer bags in our storage closet and not even leave a dent.) So I figured if Carol asked me if I’d bought a new bag, I could just bat my eyelashes and say, "This old thing?" And to prove my point – casually pull out my much-used laptop to show her.

But sort of like watching a Pro-Am tournament — you can always tell the professionals from the amateurs. The professional, Carol, knows to remove telltale packaging on her purchased food – no wrappers give her away. Whereas I am still just a mere amateur. I was so concerned about removing the evidence from the actual laptop case; I totally forgot the plastic bag it came in, not to mention the dated sales slip inside. Can you say "Busted?"

So is there a moral to this story? Absolutely not. There are way too many morals in our daily newspaper and TV broadcast stories already. It’s just my way of regifting a smile – because surprisingly that was Carol’s reaction when she found the evidence of my newest purchase. It must have been my batting eyelashes.

Happy holidays to all from South Florida Hospital News and Healthcare Report!

Charles Felix, Publisher

Reach me at Charles@southfloridahospitalnews.com.

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