South Florida Hospital News
Sunday June 13, 2021

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November 2017 - Volume 14 - Issue 5

Publisher's Note

You Want a What?

Did you know that the definition of millstone is a heavy burden a.k.a. “an elliptical machine?” Yes, I’m kidding, but haven’t we all been there?
As I may have said a million times or more, Carol is the family Scrooge. Before I even open my mouth, she’ll usually say a) we can’t afford it; b) we don’t need it; or c) are you completely nuts? And as much as I hate to admit it, she’s usually right. I do tend to “need” things rather impulsively and have trouble justifying need vs. want. But today, the shoe was definitely on the other foot. First let me say, it’s our 46th wedding anniversary. So yes, we truly are the original Mr. and Mrs. T-Rex, still married after all these years. Our longevity is easily attributed to the fact that we’re both basically too lazy for the angst of divorce, too comfortable in our own relatively undemanding roles, not to mention the fight over our dog Gabby would be a bloodbath with no survivors.
But back to the elliptical … which Carol thinks is a perfect gift to each other for our anniversary. Of course, my first reaction is blind panic (and an aching back.) I quickly segue into it’s too heavy and we don’t have space. But once again she’s 5 steps ahead, reeling off the machine’s dimensions and the empty space in our bedroom’s corner. So while I’m usually at the head of the line when it comes to a purchase with an on/off switch, Carol is the lead dog this time. As she’s pointed out, rather graphically I might add, we could both use to drop a few pounds … especially if we’d like to see anniversary #47.
And so fast forward 48 hours later, the elliptical is in a prime TV viewing spot and Carol is accruing some serious mileage. Unfortunately, yours truly is in bed with a heating pad attached to his lower back. I guess the moral of the story is you need the elliptical to get into good enough shape to get the damn machine into your house.

 You can reach Charles Felix at

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