South Florida Hospital News
Monday August 10, 2020
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September 2013 - Volume 10 - Issue 3
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Publisher's Note

Life’s Demerit System 
 
Recently, a good friend forwarded me an email about the male-female relationship and its inherent demerit system. I don’t think I ever would have appreciated it quite so much had Carol and I not spent the last few months in such close proximity and quite so interdependent. (Where I went, she went. Where she went, I had to go.) In fact, I was almost imagining we’d need a surgeon to separate us at the end of her recovery from shoulder surgery.
 
But getting back to the point system — I think I have finally figured out (after being married for more than 42 years!) what makes her tick. Basically I get no points for doing something Carol expects me to do; get points for something she is sure I won’t do; and lose points for doing things she HAS to ask me or remind me to do.
 
I make the bed. (+1)
I forget the decorative pillows. (0)
I carefully place the shams and pillows after she asks. (-5)
 
I go out to buy her a special treat (+5) in the rain. (+10)
I return with an open box special computer from Tiger Direct. (-20)
 
It’s my idea to go to the movies. (+1)
We go to a suspense thriller she likes. (+5)
We go to see Dumber and Dumber. (-20)
 
When she wants to talk about a problem, I listen. (+5)
I listen for more than 15 minutes without watching TV. (+5)
She realizes I have fallen asleep. (-1000)
 
I say, “Let’s go out to dinner.” (+10)
I say, “Let’s go to a sports bar.” (-5)
I say, “Let’s go to Hooters.” (Really? Do you have to ask? Subtract all points from entire week.)
 
She says, “Do I look alright?”
I say, “Uh huh without looking.” (-5)
I say, “I thought you were on a diet." (-30 and go back to HUSBAND SCHOOL.)
 
What can I say — it’s been a long summer!
You can reach Charles Felix at Charles@southfloridahospitalnews.com.
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