You and your spouse have discussed getting a divorce and have now agreed that one of you will act and hire an attorney. You are speaking civilly to one another and seem to have agreed to split the assets and liabilities fairly. You are not arguing in front of your children and they have no idea that a divorce is imminent. So why do you feel like you are on an emotional roller coaster — feeling sad and dejected one minute, angry and hostile another minute, resigned to the new life you are about to embark on and in control and at peace another minute?Going through a divorce takes up 90 percent of your energy. Meaning, since you are using up 90 percent of your energy with divorce emotions, you only have 10 percent left to be a productive worker, parent, or friend, to work out, clean the house and run errands and relax. When going through a divorce, your other obligations do not change, only the amount of energy you must put toward those obligations. No wonder you feel like you are on a roller coaster of emotion.
The best thing you can do for yourself during this turbulent time is give yourself a break. Remember that you can only do so much, and the rest will have to wait. Take care of yourself. Find time to take that yoga class you have been meaning to try and begin a new healthy habit. Meditate or nap in the afternoons when you do not have your children to rest and rejuvenate. Most importantly, remember that this feeling will not last forever and within a few months, you will start feeling less and less like you are on a roller coaster and can claim your life back.
