And to tell the truth, she never did. For those of you who visit our home, you are greeted by the above sign. Some might look at it and think joke? But to others (those whove had dinner here), its really more of a warning
a CDC alert! You see, I didnt marry a Julia Child wannabe. Carol is more in the Easy-Bake Oven category. For some reason when she hits the kitchen, common sense and any intuitive cooking skills many women possess (a sexist generalization, I know) just desert (dessert?) her. Lest you think Im exaggerating, ask anyone in our family about her infamous Manicotti debacle. I think she wiped out twelve people with the contents of one 10″ x 13″ dish.
But as Carol likes to point out, this is all ancient history because Carol has learned the art of the bait and switch. Basically, she outsources the cooking but uses in-house serving dishes. Shes pretty good on appetizers and desserts so if she caters in the main dish the survival odds for all our guests improve exponentially.
A couple of weeks ago, I decided it was time I turned the tables on her. But the components of my inaugural “bait and switch” were a bit closer to my heart my old laptop in a new computer bag. Do you get my drift? In addition, to my well-known electronics obsession, I also have a pretty crazy luggage fetish. (My sons Josh and Drew have been known to shop for briefcases and computer bags in our storage closet and not even leave a dent.) So I figured if Carol asked me if Id bought a new bag, I could just bat my eyelashes and say, “This old thing?” And to prove my point casually pull out my much-used laptop to show her.
But sort of like watching a Pro-Am tournament you can always tell the professionals from the amateurs. The professional, Carol, knows to remove telltale packaging on her purchased food no wrappers give her away. Whereas I am still just a mere amateur. I was so concerned about removing the evidence from the actual laptop case; I totally forgot the plastic bag it came in, not to mention the dated sales slip inside. Can you say “Busted?”
So is there a moral to this story? Absolutely not. There are way too many morals in our daily newspaper and TV broadcast stories already. Its just my way of regifting a smile because surprisingly that was Carols reaction when she found the evidence of my newest purchase. It must have been my batting eyelashes.
Happy holidays to all from South Florida Hospital News and Healthcare Report!
Charles Felix, Publisher
Reach me at Charles@southfloridahospitalnews.com.
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