Supplies (a.k.a. Storm Survival Starter Pack)
- Water: One gallon per person per day… or enough to fill your bathtub, a kiddie pool, and your soul.
- Non-perishable food: Canned goods, protein bars, and every flavor of Chef Boyardee you pretended to like as a kid.
- Manual can opener: Because your electric one will laugh at you when the power goes out.
- Flashlights & batteries: You will definitely find your old batteries are dead. Replace them now.
- Battery-powered or crank radio: For official updates or to vibe ’80s hits when the Wi-Fi dies.
- Power banks & chargers: Charge everything. Charge your mom’s iPad. Charge your dog if it has Bluetooth.
- Toilet paper: Not because you’ll run out—because everyone else hoards it like gold.
- First aid kit: Because hurricane prep shouldn’t involve duct tape and hope.
- Trash bags: For actual trash, and in a pinch, waterproof storage, or makeshift ponchos.
Home Prep (AKA Turn Your House into a Fortress)
- Bring in lawn furniture: Or risk seeing your flamingo yard statue airborne on the 6 o’clock news.
- Check roof & gutters: Because you don’t want your neighbor’s shingles in your living room.
- Fill your tub: Not for bathing—for flushing when the water’s off. Fancy, right?
Evacuation Readiness (a.k.a. “Plan Z”)
- Know your evacuation zone: Hint: If you’re near water, it’s Zone A (a.k.a. GET OUT).
- Fill up your tank: Gas is like concert tickets during hurricane week—gone fast.
- Go-bag ready: Clothes, meds, IDs, snacks, and that is one sentimental thing you never actually use.
- Pet stuff: Don’t forget food, leashes, and your pet’s anxiety vest (and one for yourself).
- Car charger: For GPS and TikTok scrolling when stuck in evacuation traffic.
Mental Prep (Let’s Be Real)
- Wine/Comfort snacks: For weathering the storm… or your relatives who stayed over. Board games/cards: Power’s out. Your Uno skills better be sharp.
- Zen mode: Breathe. You’re a Floridian. You were born for this chaos.
Stay safe and remember: if Jim Cantore shows up in your neighborhood… run like hell.