Every once in a while, Carol completely forgets who she’s married to and decides to improve my mind a bit. On a recent Sunday afternoon, she put down her book long enough to try to explain a Paraprosdokian sentence. Needless to say, her explanation fell on deaf (make that very deaf) ears, but many of the examples were hilarious. And between you and me, I think she was trying to get some points across as well.
- Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience. (She rarely argues with me.)
- The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list. (Carol loves lists.)
- Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. (She always tells me to keep it brief.)
- If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong. (She rarely agrees or disagrees with me.)
- The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. (I’m the early riser in the house.)
- Hospitality: making your guests feel like they’re at home, even if you wish they were. (We are an extremely hospitable couple.)
- You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice. (Or as Carol puts it, if you don’t skydive at all – you never need the parachute.)
- Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of a pool and throw them fish. (I think Carol is the dolphin in our marriage.)
And after complaining at length about the chaotic state of our shared office (or more specifically my desk) Carol quoted, “A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops.” And she called my desk — a work station!
