I would consider that spirituality is almost an essential facet of hospice care. Case in point: I recently visited a patient whose local family consisted of 2 nieces. One was with her almost all the time; one lived locally (in Boca) and came to visit regularly. I happened to ride the elevator with the 2nd niece as she was coming to visit her aunt. When we got up to the apartment the Continuous Care Nurse was in the process of checking the heartbeat of the patient. It appears that, moments before we arrived, the patient’s heart had stopped beating. When the other niece stated out loud that her cousin would arrive momentarily, the patient’s mouth opened and moved visibly, and her heartbeat restarted for the few moments it took us to get up to the apartment. When we arrived, the heartbeat finally ceased.

 

How does one explain such an occurrence without referencing a spiritual component of some kind? Whether the patient (and his/her family) is fully religious (orthodox in the common vernacular) or totally unaffiliated, they are looking spiritual guidance through what is, or will be at best, a very difficult situation. They are facing a new reality – a ‘new normal’ as it were – and are forced to come to grips with it quicker than any other situation that would normally face a family. If a family member were to (G-d forbid) suffer a heart attack or stroke, or lapse into a coma, the family would have time to discuss this medical situation, possibly even have time so speak with their own family clergy to learn how to deal with it medically, psychologically, religiously.

 

But here we are dealing with people who are literally thrown into a circumstance that no one should face – the imminent death of a loved one. No time to ask questions; no time to seek spiritual or psychological (or sometimes even medical) guidance. Just, “here you are. This is it. Deal with it.”

 

Our job is to give them that guidance, as quickly and succinctly as possible, and to be there with them through the ordeal they are facing. We will occasionally have the opportunity to form a bond with the patient and family and help make the transition from life to death slightly easier to absorb. Ultimately, however, we usually only have enough time to soften the blow, ease their pain, comfort their suffering. We offer the spiritual solace that anyone (even an atheist) would seek in this dire circumstance.