Often self proclaimed agnostics or atheists, when given a terminal diagnosis, will have a desire to know more about spiritual issues. Some will want the Bible read to them and to know more about the stories in the Bible. Others wish to discuss what happens once they die. Many want to make amends for things they have done during their lifetime. And still others have a whole new philosophy about life and death.

 

Hospice chaplains meet with these people and allow them to express what the meaning of life and death is for them. Many people fear the hospice chaplain because they believe that the chaplain will criticize them for not going to church, for their belief, or lifestyle. In reality, the chaplain will assist them in moving from where they are to where they wish to go spiritually.

 

Hospice chaplains will guide a patient but the patient drives the conversation. One patient felt that she was definitely going to Heaven and was not afraid to die. Yet one day she said she was feeling some apprehension and didn’t know why. The chaplain stated that she was about to do something she had never done before and we are often apprehensive about new things. She commented, “That must be it” and felt a release of the apprehension. One patient was visited by the chaplain each Wednesday.

He appreciated the attention he received. He told the chaplain, “I wish every day was Wednesday.”

 

There are patients who are afraid of dying because of various reasons. Some fear the unknown while others are afraid of going to “Hell” because of things they did in their life. The chaplain will try to understand what the patient believes and help them to find peace in the situation. The chaplain may assist the patient to make amends to the people they have hurt and to the God of their understanding. It may be in helping them to write a letter or make a phone call. They can practice what to say with the chaplain. The chaplain is non-judgmental about their beliefs.

 

Patients in the dying process have different needs. Some need attention while others need to hear scripture or prayers. There are times when the chaplain will sit and hold a patient’s hand to comfort them. That is all they need at the moment. With another patient the chaplain may play cards to keep them company and allow them to speak as they choose. Others have been given a life journal to record their journey. The families are always grateful to receive the completed journal.

 

Families of patients with terminal disease may be in need of the chaplain’s services. The caregivers are often stressed and need some way to release the stress. The chaplain will offer a shoulder to cry on or an ear to listen to the problems they are facing. One spouse of a patient wanted the chaplain to come and was surprised that it was a woman. She did not believe in women ministers. After several visits with the woman she told the chaplain, “I owe you an apology. I didn’t want you to come because you were a woman and you have become my best friend.”

 

Spirituality enters the picture when planning a funeral service for the terminally ill patient. Often the chaplain is asked to assist in planning the service and in officiating at it. This is a difficult time for the family and they are grateful for the guidance in selecting hymns, readings, or writing the eulogy.

 

Families are surprised that hospice will care for them for the year following the patient’s death. Often the end of the first year is difficult for some grieving family members and hospice will continue to assist them through this difficult time. Family members derive comfort from the memorial services presented by hospice.

 

Spirituality is an integral part of the dying process. Walking beside the patient as they move closer to death is a difficult but rewarding experience. The chaplain helps the patient and family through the dying process and is repaid by the peace seen in their faces.