image_pdfimage_print

– Anonymous

What could possibly prevent me from ranting this month (as I have for the last three) about how crucial it is to get your COVID vaccine — it must be something incredibly momentous. And it is … the Felix’s 50th wedding anniversary. Yes, I know what you’re thinking. We must have married quite young, and you would be right. We were barely in our twenties and actually got engaged without even going on a real date. As Carol likes to say, “We were too lazy to date and equally too lazy to ever get divorced.” According to the U.S. Census Bureau a mere five percent of marriages makes it to 50 years. So, I guess we really must be Mr. and Mrs. T-Rex.

To celebrate this questionable milestone, Carol and I decided it was time (for probably only the third time in our married life) to buy a new mattress. (Yes, we’ve been sleeping on lumps and bumps for ages.) The only problem was the necessary “test drive” in the age of COVID. And despite the sales spiel about all sample mattresses being sanitized after every trial, Carol wasn’t buying it. So only after arming herself with sanitizer spray AND a personal pillowcase could we venture forth.

I think our salesperson Gloria is still reeling from the speed at which we made our choice. We walked in, listed our criteria: extra firm, low profile, and no pillowtop. She showed us 3 beds and we were done in 15 minutes. Of course she tried to sell us on the adjustable bed idea, demonstrating the remote control — at which point she got the Carol “death star glare.” So much like the way I’ve navigated the past 50 years,  Gloria quickly learned it’s sometimes just easier to back off than to engage.

I did want to give Carol (a woman of few words) a chance to comment about this upcoming milestone. However all Carol would say was, “It’s remarkable how long we have tolerated each other.”