We of the sandwich generation are once again facing the challenges of balancing family with work needs – only this time we’re worried about Mom and Dad – not the kids. And to complicate matters, your parents have retired to Florida, and just as you’ve arrived at your teenager’s first play-off game of her sports career, Mom has just called telling you not to worry, but they’re heading to the hospital because Dad isn’t feeling quite himself. What to do?While respecting their need for independence and desire to stay in their home for as long as safely possible, how do we ensure our parents are safe and their needs met? Thankfully, dependent on the level of need of aging parents, there are quite a number of resources and options available.
Start with the County’s Agency for Aging. There are more resources available than you realize, including Meals on Wheels and a listing of bonded companions who can check up on your parents periodically.
Just as health costs will be unpredictable for the boomers, the cost of Mom and Dad’s custodial needs can break the bank, particularly as this type of expense is reimbursable by health insurance. In the Metropolitan Philadelphia area, facility costs of $8,000-$9,000 per month are not out of the ordinary. Often adult children step in to shoulder the expense. For parents who are in their sixties and physically healthy, long term care (LTC) insurance may provide peace of mind that home or care in a facility will be provided by a capable professional if adult children cannot do so themselves. Especially if parents have only a little wiggle room in their financial picture or have assets they want to pass along to loved ones, this solution is particularly applicable as an unexpected event could be catastrophic to the well spouse’s financial security.
Today’s LTC coverage has advanced significantly as ever increasing premiums and the "use it or lose it " feature made old products less desirable. New products offer a hybrid policy, combining this insurance with a permanent life insurance policy. It’s a win-win solution. A portion of the death benefit is accelerated tax free should someone need care at home or in a facility. The withdrawal for care costs is typically limited to four percent of the death benefit each month with an optional three percent or five percent inflation increase. Any portion not used for long term care costs are payable to beneficiaries at the insured’s passing. It’s typically easier to qualify for coverage than a traditional life insurance policy, yet a bit more expensive. The good news is that premium costs are fixed. And keep in mind you don’t need to cover 100% of the cost with insurance. Most find that insuring about half the expense is desirable.
Because the average nursing home stay is a bit over three years, consider buying a policy that will cover three to five years of costs. Further, many policies offer shared benefits which provides a pool of coverage to divvy up between spouses. For instance, if both parents had a three year policy and Dad needed five years of care and your Mom needs one, both are covered. Such a policy costs about 15 percent more than two separate policies with three-year benefit periods. It may be worthwhile to extend the benefit period if you have a family history of Alzheimer’s disease or other long-lasting conditions. If parents cannot afford the premiums, consider splitting the cost with your siblings. Today, many employers’ offer group coverage for the employee’s parents.
No one wants to admit they may need help someday, so anticipate that your parents may get defensive when talking about the possibility that they one day may become incapable of caring for themselves. Particularly for older parents who may already have some physical infirmities, consider engaging a geriatric case worker to facilitate the discussion and create and implement a plan of care so Mom and Dad can safely stay in their home for as long as possible. There are several safeguards that can be put in place, for instance, a medication dispenser with an alarm, automatic stove or oven shutoff, and alarm system with audio and visual interface. And yes – there’s even an app for that!
Ideally, allow the case worker to facilitate the discussion to develop a plan of action before it’s an emergency. Case workers are very familiar with the various communities and facilities in their geographic area and can help you and your parents select an appropriate community or facility.
With these resources in mind, sanity returns and your role as family steward will be made easier.
